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"What hypocrites we seem to be whenever we talk of ourselves! Our words sound so humble, while our hearts are so proud."
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"She has enough black eyeliner on to outline a corpse, and her skin's so pale she looks like she's just broken dawn."

"Her face is silting up, like a pond; layers are accumulating. Every once in a while, when she can afford the time, she spends a few days at a spa north of the city, drinking vegetable juice and having ultrasound treatments, in search of her original face, the one she knows is under there somewhere; she comes back feeling toned up and virtuous, and hungry."

"There was a photograph of Trout. He was an old man with a full black beard. He looked like a frightened, aging Jesus, whose sentence to crucifixion had been commuted to imprisonment for life."

"The curve of my waist in a tight fitting summer dress can really make me new friends."

"Most of us don't notice how great we look until years, even decades later. Not long ago, I was looking at photos of myself at various ages and weights-way before the neckular deterioration began, way before the fanny pack of menopause-and I could see how gorgeous I must have looked to everyone else."

"For too long, and despite what people told me, I had fallen for what the culture said about beauty, youth, features, heights, weights, hair textures, upper arms."

"A beautiful lady with an evil heart is like a hundred dollar note cut in two with one piece missing."

"If Fancy's lips had been real cherries probably Dick's would have appeared deeply stained."

"Let us be grateful to the mirror for revealing to us our appearance only."

"The vast majority of human beings dislike and even actually dread all notions with which they are not familiar... Hence it comes about that at their first appearance innovators have generally been persecuted, and always derided as fools and madmen."
Explore more quotes by Augustus Hare

"A mother should give her children a superabundance of enthusiasm; that after they have lost all they are sure to lose on mixing with the world, enough may still remain to prompt fated support them through great actions."

"There is no being eloquent for atheism. In that exhausted receiver the mind cannot use its wings, - the clearest proof that it is out of its element."

"It is well for us that we are born babies in intellect. Could we understand half what mothers say and do to their infants, we should be filled with a conceit of our own importance, which would render us insupportable through life."

"What a person praises is perhaps a surer standard, even than what he condemns, of his own character, information and abilities."
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