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"Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive."
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"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."
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Personal Development
"Sometimes Spiro missed the times when a troublesome worker was thrown out of a high window and that was the end of him. These days, if you threw someone out of a window, they'd phone their lawyer on the way down."
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Personal Development
"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."
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Personal Development
"Especially while television I think is going through some growing pains or is in need of - I think current comedy is a bit, uh, not happening, you know?"
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Personal Development
"It is really hard to do comedy; it takes a lot of energy and focus. It's rather like music: It's a lot of hitting notes precisely."
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Personal Development
"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."
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Personal Development
"All the jokes in my films, the comedy, they're not me, I just try to hold a big mirror up to us."
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Personal Development
"I know the fashion is that everything is fair game [for comedy material] but I don't believe that."
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Personal Development
"There seems to be more comedy for comedy's sake."
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Personal Development
"Bob had a dog buscuit stuck to his head. 'How does he always get food stuck to him?' I asked Morelli. 'I don't know,' Morelli said. 'It's a Bob mystery. I think stuff falls out of his mouth and he rolls in it. I'm not sure.'-Morelli And Stephanie."
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"The only way I would go back to hosting would be if it were something entirely new. It would prevent me from wanting to host a standard-fare kind of talk show."
Talk
"I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it."
Dating
"I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot of Eastern philosophy and I meditate."
Basketball
"My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me."
Friendship
"You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't."
Funny
"I don't know how to ground myself without the other actor present."
Actor
"Which is, I'm an optimist that two people can be together to work out their conflicts. And that commitment, I think, might be what love is, because they both grow from their relationship."
Love
"I practice safe sex - I use an airbag."
Sex
"I don't know why men are so fascinated with television and I think it has something to do with - if I may judge from my own father, who used to sit and stare at the TV while my mother was speaking to him - I think that's a man's way of tuning out."
Men
"I actually think I'm more of a turtle than Verne is. Where Verne is up on two legs and moving at full speed and doesn't pull his head into the shell very often, I in reality was five or ten minutes later to every recording session."
Reality
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