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"Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive."
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"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."
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Personal Development
"Why do we laugh at such terrible things? Because comedy is often the sarcastic realization of inescapable tragedy."
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Personal Development
"I wear so many disguises on the show that only a real comedy fan might spot me."
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Personal Development
"One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes."
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Personal Development
"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."
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Personal Development
"Now, if you have never been hit by a flying burrito, count yourself lucky. In terms of deadly projectiles, it's right up there with grenades and cannonballs."
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Personal Development
"98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed."
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Personal Development
"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."
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Personal Development
"You need to understand that some comedy can have consequences."
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Personal Development
"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."
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Personal Development
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"It's not the hair on your head that matters. It's the kind of hair you have inside."
Hair
"Because I am afraid of commitment. This movie certainly has some bearing and is some reflection of my real feeling about relationships, because I do have commitment issues. My friends tell me I have intimacy problems, but they don't know me, so who cares what they think?"
Commitment
"Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet. If I do have kids I would be interested to see them in my life, so here's a movie for kids and I'm in there and I'm supposed to be kind of funny for kids."
Funny
"Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive."
Comedy
"First of all, I'm not the kind of guy that likes to rehash the show and so forth and so on."
First
"The only way I would go back to hosting would be if it were something entirely new. It would prevent me from wanting to host a standard-fare kind of talk show."
Talk
"I'm not a party guy. I don't carouse very much."
Party
"My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me."
Friendship
"I like going into nature and that's where I'm happiest."
Nature
"I practice safe sex - I use an airbag."
Sex
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