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"I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle."
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"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later."
Dream
"Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!"
Wrong
"I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle."
Water
"I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down."
Cause
"Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!"
Children
"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."
Tennis
"I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific."
Night
"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."
Work
"I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring."
Caring
"Dogs are forever in the push up postion."
Dogs
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"Lottery tickets are a surtax on desperation."
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Personal Development
"A racing tipster who only reached Hitler's level of accuracy would not do well for his clients."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I do not support gambling in this state."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Yes, I think poker really isn't gambling."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I didn't want to be a slave to any passion anymore. I gave up card playing altogether, even bridge and gambling - more or less. It took me a few years to get out of it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle."
Author Name
Personal Development
"No presidential candidate should visit Las Vegas without condemning organized gambling."
Author Name
Personal Development
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