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"I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle."
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"A racing tipster who only reached Hitler's level of accuracy would not do well for his clients."
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Personal Development

"I didn't want to be a slave to any passion anymore. I gave up card playing altogether, even bridge and gambling - more or less. It took me a few years to get out of it."
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Personal Development

"You know what they say, Queenie: ALWAYS bet like you have a pair."
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Personal Development

"No presidential candidate should visit Las Vegas without condemning organized gambling."
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Personal Development

"I do not support gambling in this state."
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Personal Development

"Yes, I think poker really isn't gambling."
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Personal Development

"I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle."
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Personal Development

"Lottery tickets are a surtax on desperation."
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Personal Development
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"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."
Work

"Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!"
Children

"I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle."
Love

"I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down."
Cause

"Dogs are forever in the push up postion."
Dogs

"I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life."
Life

"I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late."
Fun

"My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'"
Friendship

"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."
Tennis

"I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones."
Word
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