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"The difficulty with humourists is that they will mix what they believe with what they don't whichever seems likelier to win an effect."
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"Genuinity is mother of stupidity."
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Personal Development

"Fella says today, 'Depression is over. I seen a jackrabbit, an' they wasn't nobody after him.' An' another fella says, 'That aint the reason. Can't afford to kill jackrabbits no more. Catch 'em and milk 'em an' turn 'em loose. One you seen prob'ly gone dry."
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Personal Development

"The difficulty with humourists is that they will mix what they believe with what they don't whichever seems likelier to win an effect."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Does your guilty past catch up so fast with your age? You've been robbing hex nuts, cap nuts, lock nuts and wing nuts. No wonder you have turned into a greedy nut."
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Personal Development

"Lebanese freedom of speech : You get to say whatever you like as long as the authorities approve of it... Hilarious."
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Personal Development

"Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature."
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Personal Development

"Politics has got so expensive that it takes lots of money to even get beat with."
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Personal Development

"Silena appeared out of the woods, her sword drawn. Her Aphrodite armour was pink and red, colour coordinated to match her clothes and makeup. She looked like Guerilla Warfare Barbie."
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Personal Development

"If God were good, why would he create Rush Limbaugh?"
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Personal Development

"How many kids are in the Graveyard?""A bunch.""Who sends your supplies?""George Washington. Or is it Abraham Lincoln? I forget.""How often do you receive new arrivals?""About as often as you beat your wife."
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"I was made to feel I could do things. If you get this feeling early and can hold it until you're 15, you tend to never lose it."
Confidence

"The difficulty with humourists is that they will mix what they believe with what they don't whichever seems likelier to win an effect."
Satire

"On the single strand of wire strung to bring our house electricity, grackles and starlings neatly punctuated an invisible sentence."
Observation

"In fact we do not try to picture the afterlife, nor is it our selves in our nervous tics and optical flecks that we wish to perpetuate; it is the self as the window on the world that we can't bear to thinkof shutting. My mind when I was a boy of ten or eleven sent up its silent scream at the thought of future aeons -- at the thought of the cosmic party going on without me. The yearning for an afterlife is the opposite of selfish: it is love and praise of the world that we are privileged, in this complex interval of light, to witness and experience."
Existence

"We are cruel enough without meaning to be."
Humanity

"Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five."
Humor

"The mind cannot fall asleep as long as it watches itself. Only when the mind moves unwatched and becomes absorbed in images that tug it as it were to one side does self-consciousness dissolve and sleep with its healing, brilliantly detailed fictions pour in upon the jittery spirit. Falling asleep is a study in trust. Likewise, religion tries to put as ease with the world. Being human cannot be borne alone. We need other presences. We need soft night noises-a mother speaking downstairs. We need the little clicks and sighs of a sustaining otherness. We need the gods."
Trust

"Each morning my characters greet me with misty faces willing, though chilled, to muster for another day's progress through the dazzling quicksand the marsh of blank paper."
Progress

"The thing about her is, she's good-natured. He knew it the second he saw her standing by the parking meters. He could just tell from the soft way her belly looked. With women, you keep bumping against them, because they want different things, they're a different race. Either they give, like a plant, or scrape, like a stone. In all the green world nothing feels as good as a woman's good nature."
Kindness

"The Englishman is under no constitutional obligation to believe that all men are created equal. The American agony is therefore scarcely intelligible like a saint's self-flagellation viewed by an atheist."
Equality
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