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John Updike

"The difficulty with humourists is that they will mix what they believe with what they don't whichever seems likelier to win an effect."

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"The difficulty with humourists is that they will mix what they believe with what they don't whichever seems likelier to win an effect."

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Amber Hurdle

"NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi."

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Amber Hurdle

"Hurry, your imaginary heaven is calling you up, my dear holier-than-thou religious nuts."

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Amber Hurdle

"And his computer's spell-check always forces him to capitalize the word "Internet". Come on; World War Two earned it's capitalization. The Internet just sucks human beings away from reality."

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Amber Hurdle

"Happiness is a good business these days, more you talk crap about happiness the large number of crowd you will gather."

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Amber Hurdle

"Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say 'attaboy'."

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Amber Hurdle

"It is difficult not to write satire."

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Amber Hurdle

"Logically enough, the office and the nunnery have been singularly popular in the imaginations of pornographers. We should not be surprised to learn that the erotic novels of the early modern period were overwhelmingly focused on debauchery and flagellation amongst clergy in vespers and chapels, just as contemporary Internet pornography is inordinately concerned with fellatios and sodomies performed by office workers against a backdrop of work stations and computer equipment."

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Amber Hurdle

"Cervantes smiled Spain's chivalry away; A single laugh demolished the right arm Of his country."

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Amber Hurdle

"Pray don't talk to me about the weather, Mr. Worthing. Whenever people talk to me about the weather, I always feel quite certain that they mean something else. And that makes me quite nervous."

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Amber Hurdle

"Punctuality is the thief of time."

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John Updike
"Existence itself does not feel horrible; it feels like an ecstasy, rather, which we have only to be still to experience."
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"What art offers is space - a certain breathing room for the spirit."
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John Updike
"There is no doubt that I have lots of words inside me; but at moments, like rush-hour traffic at the mouth of a tunnel, they jam."
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John Updike
"Every marriage tends to consist of an aristocrat and a peasant. Of a teacher and a learner."
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John Updike
"If you have the guts to be yourself, other people'll pay your price."
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John Updike
"Suspect each moment, for it is a thief, tiptoeing away with more than it brings."
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John Updike
"But it is just two lovers, holding hands and in a hurry to reach their car, their locked hands a starfish leaping through the dark."
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John Updike
"A narrative is like a room on whose walls a number of false doors have been painted; while within the narrative, we have many apparent choices of exit, but when the author leads us to one particular door, we know it is the right one because it opens."
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John Updike
"Wickedness was like food: once you got started it was hard to stop, the gut expanded to take in more and more."
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John Updike
"No act is so private it does not seek applause."
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