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Exlpore more Sarcasm quotes
"Are you suggesting I'm working with thezombies? That I paid them to pretend toattack me so that I'd trick you into letting me join you?"Did you? Mr. Holland demanded."Yeah, okay, I said in a sugar-sweet tone. "You're right. I was having dinner with Zombie Carl the other night. You know, steaks, rare, and a bottle of vintage type A. He told me all his secrets, but too bad for you I promised him I wouldn't tell. In exchange I asked him to gather hisbest undead buddies and stalk me throughmy friend's yard. And oh, yeah, it wastotally fine if they wanted to use me as an all-night dinner buffet, because having organs is so last season."
"Great! He has indigestion, so let's torture him with cake."
"You have more issues than Reader's Digest."
"It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs."
Explore more quotes by Ilona Andrews
"Leaving what is safe so you can be more, Derek said. The cage is what the bird knows; the sky is all the things he still wants to do even if it's a risk."
"So you want me to track down a supernaturally fast sniper who can disappear into thin air, retrieve your maps, and do it so nobody finds out what I'm doing or why?''Exactly.'I sighed. 'I'll get the paperwork."
"Jack didn't fully get Jesus. Audrey tried to explain it, and he could repeat it back to her, word for word, but he still didn't comprehend most of it. The best he could gather was that Jesus lived long ago, told people to be nice, and they killed him for it. At the end, he asked who was Jesus' necromancer and if he was in the Bible, then Kaldar couldn't stop laughing and had to sit down."
"She handed him a glass of water and two Aleve gelcaps. "They're anti-inflammatories. They will dull the pain a little bit and keep down swelling and redness. Swallow the pills, don't chew."Well, I thought I'd stick them into my nose and impersonate a walrus, but if you insist, I'll swallow them."
"Man can't handle the chaos. Oh, you can understand it in the abstract, as long as you don't think about it too hard. But at the core of it, whenever humans come against chaos, they deal with it in one of three ways. ... Faced with chaos you will either ignore it, dance around it, or you will go mad."
"Mom?" Mother turned to Grandmother."What?""She's going to lunch with her kidnapper!""Take a picture for me," Grandma said."
"When she looked at him with those dark eyes, Nassar felt the urge to say something intelligent and deeply impressive. Unfortunately, nothing of the kind came to mind."
"Breaking into the house in the middle of the night just wasn't his style. He did his best work in plain view, and, usually, his tongue was doing most."
"The last time Assistant Principal Parker called, a girl in the school's locker room had accused Julie of being a whore during the two years she'd spent on the street. My kid took exception to that and decided to communicate that by applying a chair to the offending party's head. I'd told her to go for the gut next time- it left less evidence."
"Would you like to borrow a pair of my panties to wave around at the next Council meeting to get the point across?His eyes flashed. "Got any to spare? I could've picked somebody rational. But no, I had to fall in love with this arrogant idiot. Come to the Keep with me, be my princess. Mourn me when your crazy dad kills me. Yeah, right."
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