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"When some smart ass asks you if you're driving, you say, 'Nope, just kicking the tires.' You have to make sure you actually kick them all on your way around to the passenger side. Otherwise it's like lying."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Gabi to Marcus "I can't believe out of one hundred thousand sperm, you were the fastest!"
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Personal Development
"Just wait until he figures out I shut him out of his slut hut."
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Personal Development
"Great! He has indigestion, so let's torture him with cake."
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Personal Development
"I don't believe in God, don't believe in the devil. Unless you want to count my mother. She might be Satan's sister, I suppose."
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Personal Development
"You should always believe what you read in the newspapers, for that makes them more interesting."
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Personal Development
"Are you driving this slow because you have no idea where we're going, or because you're hoping we jump out of the car & put ourselves out of our misery?"
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Personal Development
"Been there, done that. I'm sure I've got a T - shirt somewhere to prove it."
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Personal Development
"You are a sick, sick man, I told him."Thank you, Ben replied, looking modest."
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Personal Development
"You're so full of it, darlin'."
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Personal Development
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"Some people had attack dogs. Ghastek had attack lawyers."
Politics
"I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn't melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Rowena's chest. Avoiding eye contact. Good strategy."
Comedy
"Kaldar almost never stops and thinks about the consequences of his actions. Something is fun or not fun, and my brother's fun often lands him in interesting places such as jails or castles belonging to California robber barons. Where other people see certain death, my brother sees an opportunity for a hilarious, thrilling adventure. But when I got the tattoo, Kaldar warned me that marrying her was a bad idea."
Character
"You will show that thing to me and from now on, I will deal with them."I opened my eyes really wide and fluttered my eyelashes at him. "I'm sorry, I must've missed your coronation ceremony. Silly me."
Authority
"We can get you a throne with snakes. I'll stand next to you and roar at anybody who fails to grovel. Fear Kate Daniels. She is a mighty and terrible ruler. Grendel can anoint the petitioners with his vomit. It'll be great . . ."
Friendship
"I like home. It's warm and there are books."
Home
"He raised his hand in a peaceful gesture. "You need to relax a bit, dove. Like Mouse over there. You trust me, don't you, Mouse?""Nope!""Ahhh, I'm hurt. Nobody likes me."
Humor
"It seems that the young woman made some indelicate suggestion of a threesome...When I got there, Miss Nash was standing by the hot tub in a small bikini, pointing the business end of a SIG-Sauer P-226 at her fella and concerned members of the hotel staff, while dunking the scantily clad female's head under the water and asking, "Who's diving for clams now, bitch?"
Adventure
"What's that?""That's my attack poodle."
Humor
"How can it not exist? What does that- A tiny grey body shot in front of the Land Rover. "Squirrel!Mad Rogan swerved to the side, trying to avoid the suicidal beast. The SUV hit a curb and jumped. For a terrifying second, we almost flew, weightless. My heart leaped into my throat. The heavy vehicle landed back on the pavement with a thud. The squirrel leapt into the grass on the other side.I remembered to breathe. "Thank you for not killing the squirrel."You're welcome, although now I want to go back and strangle it."
Humor
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