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"I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes."
Water
"Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler."
Feet
"Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream."
Fish
"I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home."
Home
"It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it."
Courtesy
"Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned."
May
"I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming."
Habit
"I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally."
Hate
"Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive."
Night
"Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad."
Animals
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"Single women have a dreadful propensity for being poor. Which is one very strong argument in favor of matrimony."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It sometimes happens that a woman is handsomer at twenty-nine than she was ten years before."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There are few virtuous women who are not bored with their trade."
Author Name
Personal Development
"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The faces of most American women over thirty are relief maps of petulant and bewildered unhappiness."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm always rather nervous about how you talk about women who are active in politics, whether they want to be talked about as women or as politicians."
Author Name
Personal Development
"We say that slavery has vanished from European civilization, but this is not true. Slavery still exists, but now it applies only to women and its name is prostitution."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Whether they give or refuse, it delights women just the same to have been asked."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I hate women because they always know where things are."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Alas, I am a woman friendless, hopeless!"
Author Name
Personal Development
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