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"Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something."
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"I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him."
Gay
"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."
Work
"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"
Father
"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."
First
"I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks."
Love
"I was the kid next door's imaginary friend."
Friendship
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
Life
"How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand."
People
"Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something."
Dress
"My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself."
Reason
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"Caviar is to dining what a sable coat is to a girl in evening dress."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Don't ever humiliate a man. If you're gonna have to dress him out, you take him aside and do it that way. That's the one thing I don't like about Hollywood: They go in for public humiliation. You shouldn't do that to a man."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Dress is at all times a frivolous distinction, and excessive solicitude about it often destroys its own aim."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Louis Armstrong, who learned to be in exquisite dress, came from the bottom, and he's not a trash can."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There was a French singer, Francoise Hardy - I used to look at her pictures and try to dress like her."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Is there anything in the world more annoyingly creepy than an unspoken dress code?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm shy. I can go on a trip for days and not go because I won't sit on a toilet seat on a plane. I'm certainly not going to go on somebody's lawn. Could you imagine, in a cocktail dress?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"An Indian's dress of deer skins, which is wet a hundred times upon his back, dries soft; and his lodge also, which stands in the rains, and even through the severity of winter, is taken down as soft and as clean as when it was first put up."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I want to be so famous that drag queens will dress like me in parades when I'm dead."
Author Name
Personal Development
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