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"Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something."
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Exlpore more Dress quotes
"Dress is at all times a frivolous distinction, and excessive solicitude about it often destroys its own aim."
"When I dress up, I have to have a lot of help. I was in a T-shirt until a few minutes ago."
"Caviar is to dining what a sable coat is to a girl in evening dress."
"Wearing the correct dress for any occasion is a matter of good manners."
"You can dress it up, but it comes down to the fact that a movie is only as good as its script."
Explore more quotes by Emo Philips
"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"
"I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks."
"In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some."
"My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself."
"I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes."
"Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil."
"I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson."
"I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks."
"The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks."
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