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"I remember interviewing someone I actually felt bad for, and therefore didn't want to take an ironic stance against him. It actually turned out to be a really funny piece."
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"It's funny, though, because when I first started going to races after we met, I was extremely nervous. It's like being backstage and hoping you don't trip over something or break an amp or accidentally speak into a live microphone, so I was really hesitant."

"I found out a long time ago that if I didn't have a good story for a song, I could just make one up! Now it seems over half the stories in my show are made up. The funny thing is, those seem to be the ones that resonate the most with the audiences."
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"People want other people to know that they share our sensibility even if they're not exactly sure what that sensibility is."


"I touched an Oscar once. Friend of mine has one, for writing. As soon as I touched it, he said, Now you'll never win one."


"If people see me in some sort of niche, then that's fine. As long as it's not The Naked Guy, I don't care."


"I actually got the part. And I thought, Well, I'll do it for a while. I'll just quit if it's stupid."


"The first year or so on The Daily Show is pretty intense in terms of travel. You're going to the worst places in the country, talking to the craziest people in the world."


"Once I found out how much an Off-Off-Broadway actor makes, I was whoring myself out the next day."
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