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"We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on."
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"Opposition may become sweet to a man when he has christened it persecution."

"In the course of history, men come to see that iron necessity is neither iron nor necessary."

"A man in passion rides a horse that runs away with him."

"Scratch a Yale man with both hands and you'll be lucky to find a coast-guard. Usually you find nothing at all."
Explore more quotes by Robert Benchley

"Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous."

"I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well."

"Other men wear white suits in summer and it doesn't seem to bother them. But my white suit seems to be a little whiter than theirs. I think also that it may have something written on the back of it, although I can't find it when I take the suit off."

"A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated."

"In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop."

"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."

"Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to end up by wearing all the skin of his left ear from twirling around on it."

"If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from."
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