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"The Nobel Peace Prize has always been a joke - albeit a grim one. Alfred Bernhard Nobel famously invented dynamite and felt sorry about it."
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"If we could read the secret history of our enemies we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility."
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"This land on which so many centuries have left their mark is merely an obligatory retreat for you, whereas it has always been our dearest hope. Your too sudden passion is made up of spite and necessity."
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"In the legal respect, after the execution of the supposed incendiaries, the other half of Moscow burned down."
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"Up to 90% of all inventions of the world comes from the Protestant world."
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"And out of that hopeless attempt has come nearly all that we call human history-money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery-the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy."
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"Violent men have not been known in history to die to a man. They die up to a point."
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"Historian - a broad-gauge gossip."
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"The world's battlefields have been in the heart chiefly; more heroism has been displayed in the household and the closet, than on the most memorable battlefields in history."
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"If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22, it would have changed the history of music and of aviation."
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"Newspapers are the second hand of history. This hand, however, is usually not only of inferior metal to the other hands, it also seldom works properly."
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"America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased."
America
"Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue."
Legal
"Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce."
Marriage
"The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it."
Government
"In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character."
History
"A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat."
Life
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible."
Woman
"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences."
Consequence
"Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it."
Will
"Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys."
Car
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