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"And then before going back for my sophomore year, I decided to change my major to arts and sciences, and my dad cut a deal with me: He said if I'd quit school he'd pay my rent for the next three years, as if I were in school."
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"You can change a life by touching someone with simple, beautiful, kind, words and a loving smile."
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Personal Development
"We have to change our thoughts before things can change."
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Personal Development
"Anyway, it's like with bikes,' said the first speaker authoritatively. 'I thought I was going to get this bike with seven gears and one of them razorblade saddles and purple paint and everything, and they gave me this light blue one. With a basket. A girl's bike.''Well. You're a girl,' said one of the others.'That's sexism, that is. Going around giving people girly presents just because they're a girl."
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Personal Development
"You may turn every house in your neighborhood into a charity center, you may fill the land with soup-kitchens, but the misery of humans will still continue to exist until the character of humanity changes."
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Personal Development
"When you meet someone, and you find that they are prejudiced against your kind, it might be your chance, not to confirm, but to be the one to finally change their mind."
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Personal Development
"Every living object has to change every moment just to live."
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Personal Development
"Change is the rule. Permanence is an illusion."
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Personal Development
"Losing your job gives you the opportunity to make your life count."
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Personal Development
"If you don't like the solution, change the problem."
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Personal Development
"Dwarfs were not a naturally religious species, but in a world where pit props could crack without warning and pockets of fire damp could suddenly explode they'd seen the need for gods as the sort of supernatural equivalent of a hard hat. Besides, when you hit your thumb with an eight-pound hammer it's nice to be able to blaspheme. It takes a very special and strong-minded kind of atheist to jump up and down with their hand clasped under their other armpit and shout, "Oh, random-fluctuations-in-the-space-time-continuum!" or "Aaargh, primitive-and-outmoded-concept on a crutch!"
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Explore more quotes by Sarah Silverman
"They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle."
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"You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about offstage."
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"But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it's funny enough."
Funny
"Well, I'm not afraid to say something if I think it's funny, even if it's harsh or racist."
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"I enjoy the last quarter of all basketball games."
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"And then before going back for my sophomore year, I decided to change my major to arts and sciences, and my dad cut a deal with me: He said if I'd quit school he'd pay my rent for the next three years, as if I were in school."
Change
"Relations between black and white would be greatly improved if we were more accepting of our fears and our feelings and more vocal about it."
Feelings
"By the time I would have graduated, at 22, I was a writer and featured performer on Saturday Night Live."
Time
"The first time I did stand-up was the summer I was 17."
Time
"It shows the truth - that the real meaning of a word is only as powerful or harmless as the emotion behind it."
Truth
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