"I used to think that size does not count, until I realized that most people either find other people's faeces more disgusting than a bird's droppings, or they do not find the latter disgusting at all."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

Humor, Truth, Life, Disgust

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"I used to think that size does not count, until I realized that most people either find other people's faeces more disgusting than a bird's droppings, or they do not find the latter disgusting at all."

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"Is she special? (asks the gay waiter)' I thinks she's going to break my heart' On arrival of the girl' The flannel is fine honey,but I have'nt seen anyone that over accesorized since batman!"

Christopher Moore, American Novelist

Humor, Love, Appearance, Judgment

"Boys are raw materials that women manufacture into products called men."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, Boys, Growth, Men, Development

"Is somethin' wrong?" said Daft Wullie."Aye!" snapped the kelda. "Rob willnae tak' a drink o' Special Sheep Liniment!"Wullie's little face screwed up in instant grief."Ach, the Big Man's deid!" he sobbed. "Oh waily waily waily - "Will ye hush yer gob, ye big mudlin!" shouted Rob Anybody, standing up. "I am no' deid! I'm trying to have a moment o' existential dreed here, right? Crivens, it's a puir lookout if a man cannae feel the chilly winds o' Fate lashing aroound his nethers wi'out folks telling him he's deid, eh?"

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Truth, Happiness, Today, Power

"In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Gods, Cats

"Modern kitchen - where the pot calls the kettle chartreuse."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

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"It's kinda hard to get yourself into a good three-toweler when you got the dick of death."

Christopher Moore, American Novelist

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"I love poking fun at myself. I have a rather mean sense of humor."

Alton Brown, American Entertainer

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"So I am death' Charlie said then turned to his daughter while buttering his toast.'This is death toast sweety."

Christopher Moore, American Novelist

Humor, Death, Truth, Emotion

"Whistler,' Manet called. 'How's your mother?"

Christopher Moore, American Novelist

Humor, Conversation, Inquiry, Observation, Truth

"But to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?"

Christopher Moore, American Novelist

Humor, History, Creativity, Imagination

Explore more quotes by Mokokoma Mokhonoana

"Man usually sees what he is looking for, seldom what he is looking at."

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"Every artist takes their final work to the grave."

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"Nothing humbles a beautiful woman better than not being wanted by a man whose girlfriend or wife is ugly (or not as beautiful as she is)."

Psychology

"Our parents would not be 'The best parents in the world' (to us) if they were not our parents."

Family

"A humanitarian seldom makes a good lover. For a lover's world revolves around their lover, while a humanitarian's world revolves around the world."

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"There would definitely be way fewer instances of cheating, if the average couple did not have sex only when the woman feels like it."

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"Intelligence is a way of thinking, not a choice of words."

Intelligence

"In a society where women are truly equal to men, a kid bred by a theist mother and an atheist father is born an agnostic. In a patriarchal society, the kid is automatically an atheist."

Equality

"A makeover is the rebranding of a human being."

Identity

"In some cases, it is the woman's stomach-not her heart-that has left her man for another."

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