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"If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much."

"Reason number 106 why dogs are smarter than humans: once you leave the litter, you sever contact with your mothers."

"If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?"

"The best thing about animals is that they don't talk much."

"So for me, anything that has to do with animals, and I'm a happy camper."

"The tabloids are like animals, with their own behavioural patterns. There's no point in complaining about them, any more than complaining that lions might eat you."
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