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"One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip."
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"Huh," Leo said. "Well, if you ever get off this island and want a job, let me know. You're not a total klutz."She smirked. "A job, eh?" Making things in your forge?""Nah, we could start our own shop," Leo said, surprising himself. Starting a machine shop had always been one of his dreams, but he'd never told anyone about it. "Leo and Calypso's Garage: Auto Repair and Mechanical Monsters."

"There is nothing wrong with wanting more. There is no reason why you should n't get everything you want from life."

"It was strange to have those papers signed. Like any big project or crisis that takes every waking and non - waking moment in your life, it was odd to have it concluded. A move, a college degree, a wedding - something long - strived - for is completed, whatever the outcome, and there is a huge space where it all once was. All that open time now, and a continuing nagging sense that there's something you need to be doing."

"To wait at Monte Cristo for the purpose of watching like a dragon over the almost incalculable richs that had thus fallen into his possession satisfied not the cravings of his heart, which yearned to return to dwell among mankind, and to assume the rank, power, and influence which are always accorded to wealth - that first and greatest of all the forces within the grasp of man."

"In order to have success, you have to concentrate on your goals."

"It is never late, pursuit your ambitions."
Explore more quotes by Erma Bombeck


"There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it."


"For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward."


"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?"


"Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go."


"Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial."


"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you."


"I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order."
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