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"Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance."
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"Memnoch the Devil happen to be my favorite of all The Vampire Chronicles."
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"The devil had as good have let Paul alone, for he no sooner comes into prison but he falls a preaching, at which the gates of Satan's prison fly open, and poor sinners come forth."
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"Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance."
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"Here is true immorality: ignorance and stupidity; the devil is nothing but this. His name is Legion."
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"What, man, defy the devil. Consider, he's an enemy to mankind."
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"Why should the Devil have all the good tunes?"
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"It is a revenge the devil sometimes takes upon the virtuous, that he entraps them by the force of the very passion they have suppressed and think themselves superior to."
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"I'm not afraid to look like a big, hairy, smelly, foreign devil in Tokyo, though I do my best not to, I really do."
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"Thinking about the devil is worse than seeing the devil."
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"The devil's name is dullness."
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"Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her."
Happiness

"Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills."
Body

"What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country."
Nation

"Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope."
Hope

"Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay."
Life

"Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead."
Friendship

"Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced."
Wisdom

"Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead."
Power

"Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable."
Famous

"To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice."
Positive
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