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"You know, when you don't go on TV and talk about how many women you sleep with, some people in Hollywood, that are supposedly 'in the know,' start whispering that you're gay. If I were gay, I wouldn't be ashamed to admit it, but I'm not."
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"My comedy is different every time I do it. I don't know what the hell I'm doing."
Time
"When I got into this, I never thought about reviews. I never thought about what people would say about me, I was just a young guy who was excited to become a comedian and an actor, and I just wanted to get to do what I got to do."
Thought
"I sang a song at my sister's wedding. My mother forced me into that, too. But that one felt all right."
Wedding
"I'm not looking to get away from anything. I like what I've done. I like what I get to do and I enjoy working with my friends. I loved those movies, but this is incredible."
Movies
"To be honest with you, when I got into this I never thought about reviews. I never thought about what people would say about me. I was just a young guy who was excited to become a comedian and an actor and I just wanted to get to do what I got to do."
Thought
"I don't like being out in public too much. I don't like going to bars. I don't like doing celebrity stuff."
Being
"Most of the stuff I do on the show comes out of me just trying to make my friends laugh."
Friendship
"I think the reason I don't read is because, when I'm reading, I feel like I'm missing out on something else. You know, What are my friends doing? Where's my girlfriend?"
Girlfriend
"Sir one more comment like that and I will strangle you with my microphone wire!"
Will
"I'm not comfortable being around too many people. I don't like being out in public too much. I don't like going to bars. I don't like doing celebrity stuff. So most of the characters I play are people who don't always feel comfortable beyond their small circle of friends."
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"The charms of the passing woman are generally in direct proportion to the swiftness of her passing."
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Personal Development
"Single women have a dreadful propensity for being poor. Which is one very strong argument in favor of matrimony."
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Personal Development
"It sometimes happens that a woman is handsomer at twenty-nine than she was ten years before."
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Personal Development
"There are few virtuous women who are not bored with their trade."
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Personal Development
"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his."
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Personal Development
"The faces of most American women over thirty are relief maps of petulant and bewildered unhappiness."
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Personal Development
"I'm always rather nervous about how you talk about women who are active in politics, whether they want to be talked about as women or as politicians."
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Personal Development
"We say that slavery has vanished from European civilization, but this is not true. Slavery still exists, but now it applies only to women and its name is prostitution."
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Personal Development
"Whether they give or refuse, it delights women just the same to have been asked."
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Personal Development
"I hate women because they always know where things are."
Author Name
Personal Development
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