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"When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him."
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"Never say never or it becomes a vice, and there you have it, you just did it twice."
"Always be careful of where you run to. When the going gets tough, take it easy and slow down, else you venture into the den of lions."
"Just for you non-sea-god types out there, don't go swimming in New York Harbor. It may not be as filthy as it was in my mom's day, but that water will still probably make you grow a third eye or have mutant children when you grow up."
"Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take."
"Avoid food products containing ingredients that are A) unfamiliar B) unpronounceable C) more than five in number or that include D) high-fructose corn syrup."
"There is nothing which we receive with so much reluctance as advice."
"The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself."
Explore more quotes by Josh Billings
"Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place."
"I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else."
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