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"I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add."
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"Do not postpone your problems, solve them now! Because tomorrow you might be weaker than today and there might arise additional problems! Unsheathe your sword now; forget tomorrow, time is now!"

"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."

"Roused by the lash of his own stubborn tail our lion now will foreign foes assail."

"What was previously perceived as nerdy is now viewed as original. What I like about nerdiness, geekiness, is it doesn't really matter what you're into - it just means you're not a follower."
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"If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative."
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"I had redesigned my entire amplifier system for this tour because airlines are very strict now."
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"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."

"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."

"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."

"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."

"In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number."
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