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"Some men's chests are more buttlike than some women's butts."
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"Is she special? (asks the gay waiter)' I thinks she's going to break my heart' On arrival of the girl' The flannel is fine honey,but I have'nt seen anyone that over accesorized since batman!"

"Boys are raw materials that women manufacture into products called men."

"Is somethin' wrong?" said Daft Wullie."Aye!" snapped the kelda. "Rob willnae tak' a drink o' Special Sheep Liniment!"Wullie's little face screwed up in instant grief."Ach, the Big Man's deid!" he sobbed. "Oh waily waily waily - "Will ye hush yer gob, ye big mudlin!" shouted Rob Anybody, standing up. "I am no' deid! I'm trying to have a moment o' existential dreed here, right? Crivens, it's a puir lookout if a man cannae feel the chilly winds o' Fate lashing aroound his nethers wi'out folks telling him he's deid, eh?"

"It's kinda hard to get yourself into a good three-toweler when you got the dick of death."

"I love poking fun at myself. I have a rather mean sense of humor."

"Whistler,' Manet called. 'How's your mother?"

"But to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?"
Explore more quotes by Mokokoma Mokhonoana

"Nothing humbles a beautiful woman better than not being wanted by a man whose girlfriend or wife is ugly (or not as beautiful as she is)."

"Our parents would not be 'The best parents in the world' (to us) if they were not our parents."

"A humanitarian seldom makes a good lover. For a lover's world revolves around their lover, while a humanitarian's world revolves around the world."

"There would definitely be way fewer instances of cheating, if the average couple did not have sex only when the woman feels like it."

"In a society where women are truly equal to men, a kid bred by a theist mother and an atheist father is born an agnostic. In a patriarchal society, the kid is automatically an atheist."

"In some cases, it is the woman's stomach-not her heart-that has left her man for another."
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