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"This paperback is very interesting, but I find it will never replace a hardcover book - it makes a very poor doorstop."
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"These are bagpipes. I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made sound never equalled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig."
Man
"Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some."
Work
"Luck is everything... My good luck in life was to be a really frightened person. I'm fortunate to be a coward, to have a low threshold of fear, because a hero couldn't make a good suspense film."
Life
"There is nothing quite so good as burial at sea. It is simple, tidy, and not very incriminating."
Nothing
"When an actor comes to me and wants to discuss his character, I say, 'It's in the script.' If he says, 'But what's my motivation?, ' I say, 'Your salary.'"
Motivational
"Television is like the American toaster, you push the button and the same thing pops up everytime."
Media
"In feature films the director is God; in documentary films God is the director."
God
"Give them pleasure - the same pleasure they have when they wake up from a nightmare."
Pleasure
"Some of our most exquisite murders have been domestic, performed with tenderness in simple, homey places like the kitchen table."
Journalism
"Self-plagiarism is style."
Self
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"Few, save the poor, feel for the poor."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Republicans have been accused of abandoning the poor. It's the other way around. They never vote for us."
Author Name
Personal Development
"How poor are they that have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Poor but happy is not a phrase invented by a poor person."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The poor North has much to do with slavery. It staggers under its load and smarts under its lash."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Africa is poor because its investors and its creditors are unspeakably rich."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I want there to be no peasant in my kingdom so poor that he cannot have a chicken in his pot every Sunday."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It is a sin to be poor."
Author Name
Personal Development
"For those of you who don't understand Reaganomics, it's based on the principle that the rich and the poor will get the same amount of ice. In Reaganomics, however, the poor get all of theirs in winter."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I've been poor and I've been rich, and rich is better."
Author Name
Personal Development
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