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"There isn't a parallel of latitude but thinks it would have been the equator if it had had its rights."
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"Oh, the ignorance of us upon whom Providence did not sufficiently smile to permit us to be born in New England."

"The silver Thames takes some part of this county in its journey to Oxford."
Explore more quotes by Mark Twain

"A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows."

"He had had much experience of physicians, and said 'the only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not'."

"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness."

"What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin."

"The perfection of wisdom, and the end of true philosophy is to proportion our wants to our possessions, our ambitions to our capacities, we will then be a happy and a virtuous people."

"I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it."
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