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John Updike

"We must have sinned greatly, at some juncture long buried in our protozoic past, to deserve such a universe."

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"We must have sinned greatly, at some juncture long buried in our protozoic past, to deserve such a universe."

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Amber Hurdle

"What is the point of our lives? There isn't any. I can't seem to decide how much horror and how much joy lies within that simple truth, but I know it is both of those things at once."

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Amber Hurdle

"People. You must love people. Men are admirable. I wantto vomit-and suddenly, there it is: the Nausea."

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Amber Hurdle

"Well, you're free without wanting to be,' he explained, 'it just happens so, that's all. But Mathieu's freedom is based on reason.''I still don't understand,' said Lola, shaking her head.'Well, he doesn't care a curse about his apartment: he lives there just as he would live anywhere else, and I've got the feeling that he doesn't care much about his girl. He stays with her because he must sleep with someone. His freedom isn't visible, it's inside him."

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Amber Hurdle

"The fear of not living is a deep, abiding dread of watching your own potential decompose into irredeemable disappointment when 'should be' gets crushed by what is. Sometimes I think it would be easier to die than to face that, because 'what could have been' is much more highly regarded than 'what should have been.' Dead kids are put on pedestals, but mentally ill kids get hidden under the rug."

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Amber Hurdle

"Hand, nobody told me about the weight. Why didn't our parents tell us about the weight?-What weight?-The fucking weight, Hand. How does the woman Ingres live? The one from Marrakesh? If we're vessels, and we are, then we, you and I, are overfull, and that means she's at the bottom of a deep cold lake. How can she stand the hissing of all that water?-We are not vessels; we are missiles.-We're static and we're empty. We are overfull and leaden.-We are airtight and we are missiles and all-powerful."

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Amber Hurdle

"We follow our scripts like actors in a very large, very long production. And even with no audience, none of us gives a hint that it isn't real."

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Amber Hurdle

"Relativism is not indifference; on the contrary, passionate indifference is necessary in order for you not to hear the voices that oppose your absolute decrees."

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Amber Hurdle

"One thing you cannot know: The sudden extinction of every alternative, The unexpected crash of the iron cataract. You do not know what hope is, until you have lost it. You only know what it is not to hope: You do not know what it is to have hope taken from you Or to fling it away, to join the legion of the hopeless Unrecognized by other men, though sometimes by each other."

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Amber Hurdle

"Suppressing the fear of death makes it all the stronger. The point is only to know, beyond any shadow of doubt, that "I" and all other "things" now present will vanish, until this knowledge compels you to release them - to know it now as surely as if you had just fallen off the rim of the Grand Canyon. Indeed you were kicked off the edge of a precipice when you were born, and it's no help to cling to the rocks falling with you. If you are afraid of death, be afraid. The point is to get with it, to let it take over - fear, ghosts, pains, transience, dissolution, and all."

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Amber Hurdle

"In the purifying sweep of atheism human beings lost all special value. The numb misery of the horse was matched by that of the farmer; the once-green ferny lives crushed into coal's fossiliferous strata were no more anonymous and obliterated than Clarence's own life would soon be, in a wink of earth's tremendous time. Without Biblical blessing the physical universe became sherry horrible and disgusting. All fleshy acts became vile, rather than merely some. The reality of men slaying lambs and cattle, fish and fowl to sustain their own bodies took on an aspect of grisly comedy--the blood-soaked selfishness of a cosmic mayhem."

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"Government is either organized benevolence or organized madness; its peculiar magnitude permits no shading."
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"Writers may be disreputable, incorrigible, early to decay or late to bloom but they dare to go it alone."
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"The essential support and encouragement comes from within, arising out of the mad notion that your society needs to know what only you can tell it."
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"America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy."
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"The first breath of adultery is the freest; after it, constraints aping marriage develop."
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"Truth should not be forced; it should simply manifest itself, like a woman who has in her privacy reflected and coolly decided to bestow herself upon a certain man."
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"Rain is grace; rain is the sky descending to the earth; without rain, there would be no life."
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"Four years was enough of Harvard. I still had a lot to learn, but had been given the liberating notion that now I could teach myself."
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"When I write, I aim in my mind not toward New York but toward a vague spot a little to the east of Kansas."
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"Russia is the only country of the world you can be homesick for while you're still in it."
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