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"I like children - fried."
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"I am writing my second novel for children for Simon and Schuster."

"Having children is what a woman is born for, really."

"Is adult entertainment killing our children? or is killing our children entertaining our adults?"

"Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected."

"My biggest regret is that I didn't teach my two children how to speak Spanish."

"You help families focus on the future through their children."

"If you mess up your children, nothing else you do really matters."

"The amazing thing is that I'm sane. I'm not bitter. I'm not drugged out. I'm not broke. I'm still married to the same guy. My children don't hate me."

"This is what happens when you are on the wrong side of 40. Young adults, who could be your children, are now working with you. I was playing their parents or mentor. I started to think: Oh, I am not part of that group any more."
Explore more quotes by W. C. Fields


"Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil."
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