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"Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?"
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"Second, we're spending a huge amount of money on technology so that everyone can check out laptops and portable phones. We're spending more money to write our existing information into databases or onto CD-ROM."

"We would take a little bit of money out of a huge increase in ballistic missile defense and put it in a place where it will do a lot of good, namely, in targeted pay increases to our enlisted personnel, particularly our NCOs and our junior warrant officers."

"Want of money and the distress of a thief can never be alleged as the cause of his thieving, for many honest people endure greater hardships with fortitude. We must therefore seek the cause elsewhere than in want of money, for that is the miser's passion, not the thief s."

"I have been very lucky to find something I am good at and can make money at... Playing with Bruce was the embodiment of everything that a little kid could dream about."
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"You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot."


"The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born."


"I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me."


"When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking."


"My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions."
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