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Elayne Boosler

"Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?"

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"Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?"

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Amber Hurdle

"I pretty much ignored politics all through my 20's and 30's... I had other things on my mind... the band, finding a meaningful relationship, getting enough money to eat and pay the rent."

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Amber Hurdle

"Second, we're spending a huge amount of money on technology so that everyone can check out laptops and portable phones. We're spending more money to write our existing information into databases or onto CD-ROM."

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Amber Hurdle

"Lack of money is the root of all evil."

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Amber Hurdle

"We would take a little bit of money out of a huge increase in ballistic missile defense and put it in a place where it will do a lot of good, namely, in targeted pay increases to our enlisted personnel, particularly our NCOs and our junior warrant officers."

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Amber Hurdle

"Opposites may attract, but I wouldn't put my money on a relationship of financial opposites."

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Amber Hurdle

"If borrowing and spending all this money led to more jobs than we would be at full employment already."

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Amber Hurdle

"Want of money and the distress of a thief can never be alleged as the cause of his thieving, for many honest people endure greater hardships with fortitude. We must therefore seek the cause elsewhere than in want of money, for that is the miser's passion, not the thief s."

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Amber Hurdle

"I have been very lucky to find something I am good at and can make money at... Playing with Bruce was the embodiment of everything that a little kid could dream about."

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Amber Hurdle

"Earned money brings you security, borrowed money gets you slavery."

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Amber Hurdle

"If I feel strongly, I say it. I know I can do more good by being vocal than by staying quiet. I'd have a whole lot more money if I lied, but I wouldn't enjoy spending it."

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Elayne Boosler
"Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?"
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"You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot."
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Elayne Boosler
"I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body."
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Elayne Boosler
"The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born."
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Elayne Boosler
"I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me."
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Elayne Boosler
"To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy."
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Elayne Boosler
"When the sun comes up, I have morals again."
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Elayne Boosler
"When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking."
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Elayne Boosler
"My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions."
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Elayne Boosler
"Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?"
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