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"I was at college doing performing arts, and just spending all my time mucking about, and the lecturers thought I would be pretty good at stand-up, so I gave it a whirl."
Time

"I've met Nicole Kidman, Elton John, loads of people."
People

"If you go on stage with the wrong attitude, or something in your performance is off, you can lose an audience in the first minute. That first minute is crucial."
Attitude

"I went to Montreal. My first gig went very badly. They just weren't laughing at anything. I found out they were a load of Christians, and it was a gig to raise money for a new church roof."
Money

"I'd love to do acting, but it'd definitely have to be comedy. I can't do serious. It's completely beyond me."
Love

"I'm just generally hugely frustrated, I'm a very, very frustrated man. I'm just a ball of pent-up frustration."
Frustration

"I was quite pleased that Prince Philip didn't say anything like, I hate queers! He was quite well behaved."
Hate

"A lot of comedians, when they have a bad gig, will blame everything but themselves. They'll blame the crowd, or the room was wrong, it had a weird vibe, or the promoter promoted a weird atmosphere."
Blame

"You should never meet your heroes. Paul Newman... I was so excited about meeting him, but he turned up in shell suit bottoms, slippers, and a jumper. He was just so worn out and old, he wanted to go home."
Home

"I hate Shakespeare. I think Shakespeare's rubbish."
Hate
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"If you want to be happy, be."
Author Name
Personal Development

"When you focus on want, you become an endless cycle of wants."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Only those who want everything done for them are bored."
Author Name
Personal Development

"I do want to go another way - to write something completely different."
Author Name
Personal Development

"If you want to be loved, be lovable."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Don't say "the White House wants." Buildings can't want."
Author Name
Personal Development

"I don't want any vegetables, thank you. I paid for the cow to eat them for me."
Author Name
Personal Development

"I didn't want it to be a book that made pronouncements."
Author Name
Personal Development

"I'm not going to become anybody I don't want to become."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Star Trek has brought so much of what I want within my grasp."
Author Name
Personal Development
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