"It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs."

Sarcasm, Humor, Pride, Creativity

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"It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs."

Exlpore more Sarcasm quotes

"Stop crying. You're giving archangels everywhere a bad name."

Becca Fitzpatrick, American Novelist

Sarcasm, Humor, Angels, Critique, Faith

"Help me, I can't breathe, your ego is pushing all the air out of the room."

Ilona Andrews, American Writer

Sarcasm, Ego, Humor, Arrogance, Conflict

"I'm Crusty," he said, with a tartar-yellow smile.I resisted the urge to say, Yes, you are."

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

Sarcasm, Humor, Truth, Life, Happiness

"You have more issues than Reader's Digest."

Rebecca McNutt, Canadian Author

Sarcasm, Humor, Exaggeration, Observation

"Are you suggesting I'm working with thezombies? That I paid them to pretend toattack me so that I'd trick you into letting me join you?"Did you? Mr. Holland demanded."Yeah, okay, I said in a sugar-sweet tone. "You're right. I was having dinner with Zombie Carl the other night. You know, steaks, rare, and a bottle of vintage type A. He told me all his secrets, but too bad for you I promised him I wouldn't tell. In exchange I asked him to gather hisbest undead buddies and stalk me throughmy friend's yard. And oh, yeah, it wastotally fine if they wanted to use me as an all-night dinner buffet, because having organs is so last season."

Gena Showalter, American Novelist

Sarcasm, Humor, Absurdity, Defiance

"I don't believe in God, don't believe in the devil. Unless you want to count my mother. She might be Satan's sister, I suppose."

Ellen Hopkins, American Novelist

Sarcasm, Humor, Family, Religion

"Gabi to Marcus "I can't believe out of one hundred thousand sperm, you were the fastest!"

Cherise Sinclair, American Author

Sarcasm, Humor, Life, Birth

"Do you never get exhausted being so wholly unbearable?"

Tahereh Mafi, Iranian Author

Sarcasm, Intolerance, Humor, Conflict, Personality

"You're so full of it, darlin'."

Lisa Kleypas, American Novelist

Sarcasm, Humor, Skepticism, Deception, Truth

"When some smart ass asks you if you're driving, you say, 'Nope, just kicking the tires.' You have to make sure you actually kick them all on your way around to the passenger side. Otherwise it's like lying."

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Sarcasm, Humor, Speech, Irony

Explore more quotes by Christopher Moore

"There's a fine edge to new grief, it severs nerves, disconnects reality--there's mercy in a sharp blade. Only with time, as the edge wears, does the real ache begin."

Grief, Pain, Time, Loss

"I've won Satan's lottery."

Religion, Irony, Darkness, Humor, Fate

"Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong."

Critique, Humor, Literature, Opinion

"One day I was telling him that I thought that cars had replaced guns as phallic symbols for American men, and I thought it was interesting that he had one that was so small and fast. The next day he gave me the Datsun and went out and bought a Lincoln."

Masculinity, Humor, Power, Irony

"We were seekers. You are that which is sought, Joshua. You are the source. The end is divinity, in the beginning is the word. You are the word."

Spiritual, Seeking, Truth, Divinity

"And I'll have you know that if you hurt my son again, if he so much as sighs sadly over his coffee, I will hire a man, a Russian, probably, to hunt you down and rip all that shiny black hair from your head, then break your skinny arms and legs, and set you on fire, and then put you out with a hammer. And should there be children from your beastly rutting, I shall have the Russian man cut them to tiny pieces and feed them to Madame Jacob's dog. because, although he may be only a worthless, simpleminded, libertine artist, Lucien is my favorite, and I will not have him hurt. Do you understand?"

Protection, Threat, Family, Love

"The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear."

Growth, Change, Fear, Truth, Life

"Lash had been explaining to her that it's impolite to refer to an African American as a nigga, unless one was another African American, when Troy Lee came in and said, 'She only speaks Cantonese.''She does not. She keeps coming in and saying 'What's up my nigga?'''Oh yeah. She does that to me, too. Did you give her a pound?''No. I didn't give her a pound, motherfucker. She called me a nigga.''Well, she's not going to quit unless you give her a pound. It's just the way she rolls.''That's some bullshit, Troy.''It's her couch."

Culture, Language, Identity, Truth

"It's sarcasm, Josh.'Sarcasm?'It's from the Greek, sarkasmos. To bite the lips. It means that you aren't really saying what you mean, but people will get your point. I invented it, Bartholomew named it.'Well, if the village idiot named it, I'm sure it's a good thing.'There you go, you got it.'Got what?'Sarcasm.'No, I meant it.'Sure you did.'Is that sarcasm?'Irony, I think.'What's the difference?'I haven't the slightest idea.'So you're being ironic now, right?'No, I really don't know.'Maybe you should ask the idiot.'Now you've got it.'What?'Sarcasm."

Art, Language, Sarcasm, Humor, Communication

"It was the sound of a thousand hungry children crying, ten thousand widows tearing their hair over their husband's graves, a chorus of angels singing the last dirge on the day of God's death."

Suffering, Pain, Faith, Death