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Exlpore more Comedy quotes
"I had to stop myself from laughing. Who needs help taking a pill?"
"She's got feet like boats, whiskers like an American, and her undies are filthy."
"Are you out of your goddamn mind? You think we can take on two hundred soldiers? I know I am an extremely attractive man, J, but I am not Bruce Lee."Who's Bruce Lee?"Who's Bruce Lee? Kenji asks, horrified. "Oh my God. We can't even be friends anymore."Why? Was he a friend of yours?"You know what, he says, "just stop. Just-I can't even talk to you right now."
"I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn't melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Rowena's chest. Avoiding eye contact. Good strategy."
"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."
Explore more quotes by Elayne Boosler
"My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions."
"The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born."
"I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me."
"You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot."
"When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking."
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