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Exlpore more Comedy quotes
"She's got feet like boats, whiskers like an American, and her undies are filthy."
"I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends."
"He's a love-'em-and-leave-'em kind of guy. And though he's not a Lord, he does have a curse hanging over his head. I have the book to prove it.William growled low in his throat. "Anya! Must you share my secrets with everyone? He flattened his palms on the arms of his chair. "Fine. If you can spill, I can, too. Anya's the reason the Titanic sank. She was playing chicken with the icebergs.Scowling, Anya anchored her hands on her hips. "William had a bronze made of his penis and placed it on his mantel."
"When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving."
"He's called you, like, four times in the past week. And seriously, you should be embarrassed. I've never met anyone who has as much phone sex as you two. My eyes narrowed on her. "How do you know about the phone sex? "Duh. I pick up the phone and listen. I gaped at her."
Explore more quotes by Elayne Boosler
"I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me."
"You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot."
"The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born."
"When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking."
"My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions."
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