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Christopher Moore

"But Charlie could imagine, because he was a Beta Male, and imagination was his curse...."

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"But Charlie could imagine, because he was a Beta Male, and imagination was his curse...."

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Amber Hurdle

"Lena felt like a child. Worse than a child and less valuable. She felt like a mouse. No, smaller than a mouse and less alive. Her life seemed so small and crumpled you could shoot it through a straw like a spitball."

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Amber Hurdle

"Along with the idea of romantic love, she was introduced to another--physical beauty. Probably the most destructive ideas in the history of human thought. Both originated in envy, thrived in insecurity, and ended in disillusion."

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Amber Hurdle

"I feel like oversized trousers on sale, not even made of good material, that no one wants to buy. They just hang in there hoping that someone someday will compromise for its low cost."

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Amber Hurdle

"An open Facebook page is simply a psychiatric dry erase board that screams, "Look at me. I am insecure. I need your reaction to what I am doing, but you're not cool enough to be my friend. Therefore, I will just pray you see this because the approval of God is not all I need."

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Amber Hurdle

"It's always the people who strive to find, and tell you about one of your imperfections, that want to feel one step above you. The truth is their ten steps below you with nothing better to say."

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Amber Hurdle

"People who repeatedly attack your confidence and self-esteem are quite aware of your potential, even if you are not."

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Amber Hurdle

"That's why you find a lot of entertainers are insecure, because it's the perfect camouflage for insecurity."

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Amber Hurdle

"It is tragic the way fearful people put all of their fears and insecurities into others, the way they strangle their dreams - often in the name of love."

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Amber Hurdle

"Insecurity is the only security."

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Amber Hurdle

"I have this idea stuck in my head that you have to be born beautiful in order to dream beautiful things. God didn't write beautiful on my heart. I'm stuck with all my bad dreams. Bad dreams for bad boys. I guess that's the way it is for me. Look, there's nothing I can do about it."

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Christopher Moore
"I'm beginning to wonder,' said Kent, sitting down now on an overturned wooden tub. 'Who do I serve? Why am I here?'You are here, because, in the expanding ethical ambiguity of our situation, you are steadfast in your righteousness. It is to you, our banished friend, that we all turn-a light amid the dark dealings of family and politics. You are the moral backbone on which the rest of us hang our bloody bits. Without you we are merely wiggly masses of desire writhing in our own devious bile.'Really?' asked the old knight.Aye,' said I.I'm not sure I want to keep company with you lot, then."
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Christopher Moore
"No matter where he went in the City, there was an odoriferous mix of food and vehicles, like the alchemic concoctions of some mad gourmet mechanic: Kung Pao Saab Turbo, Buick Skylark Carbonara, Sweet-and-Sour Metro Bus, Honda Bolognese with Burning Clutch Sauce."
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Christopher Moore
"I'm feeling full of tiny princes, bustling to get out into the world and start plotting against one another."
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Christopher Moore
"Whistler,' Manet called. 'How's your mother?"
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Christopher Moore
"The Painting is not shit,' said Lucien.'I know,' said Henri. 'That was just part of the subterfuge. I am of royal lineage; subterfuge is one of the many talents we carry in our blood, along with guile and hemophilia."
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Christopher Moore
"And I'll have you know that if you hurt my son again, if he so much as sighs sadly over his coffee, I will hire a man, a Russian, probably, to hunt you down and rip all that shiny black hair from your head, then break your skinny arms and legs, and set you on fire, and then put you out with a hammer. And should there be children from your beastly rutting, I shall have the Russian man cut them to tiny pieces and feed them to Madame Jacob's dog. because, although he may be only a worthless, simpleminded, libertine artist, Lucien is my favorite, and I will not have him hurt. Do you understand?"
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Christopher Moore
"So I'm all, 'Owned! Bee-yatch! Dog fucking owned you!' Doing a minor booty dance of ownage, perhaps, in retrospect, a bit prematurely. (I believe hip-hop to be the apprpriate language for taunting, at least until I learn French.)"
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Christopher Moore
"But she's a redhead, so she's probably evil, even at her tender age.''I thought you liked redheads.''I do. What's your point?"
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Christopher Moore
"Boredom can be a lethal thing on a small island."
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Christopher Moore
"Mr. Asher, you can resist who you are for only so long. Finally, you just decide to go with fate."
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