"You know you're old if your walker has an airbag."

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"You know you're old if your walker has an airbag."

Exlpore more Old quotes

"Old and young, we are all on our last cruise."

Robert Louis Stevenson, Scottish Writer

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"You can always tell an old soldier by the inside of his holsters and cartridge boxes. The young ones carry pistols and cartridges; the old ones, grub."

George Bernard Shaw, Irish Dramatist

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"Old foxes want no tutors."

Thomas Fuller, English Clergyman

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"We owned a bearded collie for many years. Sophie. She was old, and she died last year."

Erika Slezak, American Actress

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"I put a Phrygian cap on the old dictionary."

Victor Hugo, French Author

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"Of all ghosts the ghosts of our old loves are the worst."

Arthur Conan Doyle, British Writer

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"There's the young Jon Voight and the old Jon Voight."

Jon Voight, American Actor

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"A new philosophy generally means in practice the praise of some old vice."

Gilbert K. Chesterton, English Writer

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"And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world it is best to hold hands and stick together."

Robert Fulghum, American Author

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"Old and young disbelieve one another's truths."

Mason Cooley, American Writer

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Explore more quotes by Phyllis Diller

"What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day."

Christmas

"Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves."

Age

"The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public."

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"My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me."

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"I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?"

Husband

"If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like."

Baseball

"It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core."

Beauty

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"

Medical

"The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing."

Reason

"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them."

Children