"You know you're old if your walker has an airbag."

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"You know you're old if your walker has an airbag."

Exlpore more Old quotes

"Old and young disbelieve one another's truths."

Mason Cooley, American Writer

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"In our heads we're all about 33 years old."

Doug Coupland, Canadian Author

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"Old foxes want no tutors."

Thomas Fuller, English Clergyman

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"We do not quit playing because we grow old, we grow old because we quit playing."

Oliver Wendell Holmes, American Writer

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"Old and young, we are all on our last cruise."

Robert Louis Stevenson, Scottish Writer

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"No one longs to live more than someone growing old."

Sophocles, Greek Poet

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"I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair."

Erma Bombeck, American Journalist

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"Of all ghosts the ghosts of our old loves are the worst."

Arthur Conan Doyle, British Writer

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"I put a Phrygian cap on the old dictionary."

Victor Hugo, French Author

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"The Ancient Mariner would not have taken so well if it had been called The Old Sailor."

Samuel Butler, British Poet

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Explore more quotes by Phyllis Diller

"If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like."

Baseball

"Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going."

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"My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor."

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"Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves."

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"The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing."

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"Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed."

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"My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee."

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"My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual."

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"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."

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"Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight."

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