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P. J. O'Rourke

"Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope."

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"Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope."

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Asa Don Brown

"My parents moved to Los Angeles when I was really young, but I spent every summer with my grandparents, and I'd stay with my grandfather on the farm in Longview. He was retired from the railroad, and he had a small farm with some cows and some pigs. I remember part of my youth was feeding hogs and plowing fields and stuff, so that's a part of me."

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Asa Don Brown

"There's nothing like sitting back and talking to your cows."

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Asa Don Brown

"This was a dairy cow, and dairy cows have IDs on them. The ID was traced back to the farm in Washington. It's a dairy farm. And that farm now has been quarantined, and the owners have been very cooperative in doing that."

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Asa Don Brown

"Meat is an inefficient way to eat. An acre of land can yield 20,000 pounds of potatoes, but that same acre would only graze enough cows to get 165 pounds of meat."

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Asa Don Brown

"The cows have ID numbers. And we should be able, throughout the investigation, which is ongoing as we speak, to be able to track that cow back to where it came from initially."

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Asa Don Brown

"I have been heartbroken once and it has affected all my relationships from there on. But now I look at it as a occupational hazard. If you are in the meat market at some point you are gonna get mad cows disease."

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Asa Don Brown

"Cows, after leaving the low lands near the coast, are found to be plentiful everywhere, and to produce milk in small quantities, from which butter is made."

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Asa Don Brown

"Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope."

Explore more quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

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P. J. O'Rourke
"In Israel, waves of anger and fear circulate all the time, but so do jokes and gossip and silky evening breezes. So, too, in America."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I'm not even sure we can draw lessons from them."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"Cars let us out of the barn and, while they were at it, destroyed the American nuclear family. As anyone who has had an American nuclear family can tell you, this was a relief to all concerned."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"Computers seem a little too adaptively flexible, like the strange natives, odd societies, and head cases we study in the social sciences. There's more opposable thumb in the digital world than I care for; it's awfully close to human."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"I do have to travel a lot for speaking engagements."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them."
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