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"I blink back the threat of tears, swiped at my nose and narrowed my eyes. 'Listen to me, you two bags of monkey shit, 'I yelled. 'I am not in a good mood. My car keeps stalling. The day before yesterday I threw up on Joe Morelli. I was called a fat cow by my ex-husband. And if that isn't enoughmy hair is ORANGE! ORANGE, FOR CHRISSAKE! And now you have the gall to force yourself into my home and threaten my hamster. Well, you have gone too far. You have crossed the line!"
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"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."
"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."
"Name the greatest of all inventors: Accident."
"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."
Explore more quotes by Janet Evanovich
"I'd spent a night with Ranger a while ago, and I knew what happened when he was encouraged. Ranger knew how to make a woman want him. Ranger was magic."
"You never want to look in a mirror,' Lula said. 'Men love mirrors. They look at themselves doing the deed and they see Rex the Wonder Horse. Women look at themselves and think they need to renew their membership at the gym."
"That's why I'm not on social media. People are way too open about their private lives. I don't need to see pictures of what somebody had for lunch or hear about how difficult their last bowel movement was or see on a map where they were when either one happened."
"On the bright side, I'm sure this isn't the last time you'll ever get firebombed, so maybe you'll have better luck next time."
"My father hired you to protect me,' Ahmed said, 'not to go off chasing men.' Grandma leaned forward, keeping her eye on the Taurus. 'We think this guy killed Fred.' 'Who's Fred?' 'My uncle,' I told him. 'He's married to Mabel.' 'Ah so you're avenging a murder in the family. This is a good thing."
"I don't believe this,' Diesel said. 'It just gets worse and worse. Bad I enough I have to play cupid to a butcher, button maker and veterinarian...now have to be sex therapist for a guy who gives people a rash."
"I don't have a lot of domestic instincts,' Ranger said to me, his attention fixing on the unidentifiable glob in my hair, 'but I have a real strong urge to take you home and hose you down.'I went dry mouth. Connie bit into her lower lip, and Lula fanned herself with a file."
"Ranger 'How's your mental health?' he asked. 'I heard about Soder.'Stephanie 'I'm rattled.''I have a cure.'Oh, boy.He put the truck in gear and headed for the exit. 'I know what you're thinking,' he said. 'And that wasn't where I was going. I was going to suggest work.''I knew that.'He looked over at me and grinned. 'You want me bad.'I did. God help me."
"I don't get writer's block because I don't believe in it. I believe you sit in front of the computer and force your fingers to get something on the screen."
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