"Epitaph n: an inscription on a tomb showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect."

Humor, Death, Virtue, Memory, Legacy

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"Epitaph n: an inscription on a tomb showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

Ludwig Wittgenstein, Austrian Philosopher

Humor, Cleverness

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Pessimism, Evil, Choice, Irony

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Faith, Truth, Wisdom

"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."

Jane Austen, British Writer

Humor, Marriage, Family, Nerves

"The educated Southerner has no use for an 'R', except at the beginning of a word."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, Beginning, Word

"You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country."

Robert Frost, American Poet

Humor, Country, Right

"April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, April, Fool, Day

"Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?I didn't think it polite to listen, sir."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Politeness, Listening, Conversation

"Never try to out-stubborn a cat."

Robert A. Heinlein, American Writer

Humor, Animals, Cats, Wisdom

Explore more quotes by Ambrose Bierce

"Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name."

Patriotism

"Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy."

Law

"Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to."

Relationship

"Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure."

Society

"Women and foxes being weak are distinguished by superior tact."

Society

"Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two."

Marriage

"Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage."

Politics

"Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice."

Positive

"Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead."

Friendship

"GRAPESHOT, n. An argument which the future is preparing in answer to the demands of American Socialism."

Politics