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"Our task, of course, is to transmute the anger that is affliction into the anger that is determination to bring about change. I think, in fact, that one could give that as a definition of revolution."
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"When you are angry, don't react. Respond with consideration, kindness, and love."
"How would I explain to him that I couldn't make peace with him? How would I explain that if I did I would immediately lose my inner balance? How would I explain that one of the arms of my internal scales would suddenly shoot upward? How would I explain that my hatred of him counterbalanced the weight of evil that had fallen on my youth? How would I explain that he embodied all the evils in my life? How would I explain to him that I needed to hate him?"
"So you try to think of someone else you're mad at, and the unavoidable answer pops into your little warped brain: everyone."
"Getting angry is like burning yourself with other people's fires. Let is stop by being kind and forgiving like water."
"Getting angry is like burning yourself with other people's fires. Let us stop it by being kind and forgiving like water."
Explore more quotes by Barbara Deming
"After the revolution, it might very well remain necessary to place people where they could not do harm to others. But the one under restraint should be cut off from the rest of society as little as possible."
"The point is to change one's life. The point is not to give some vent to the emotions that have been destroying one; the point is so to act that one can master them now."
"The free man must be born before freedom can be won, and the brotherly man must be born before full brotherhood can be won. It will come into being only if we build it out of our very muscle and bone - by trying to act it out."
"This is the heart of my argument: We can put more pressure on the antagonist for whom we show human concern."
"The longer we listen to one another - with real attention - the more commonality we will find in all our lives. That is, if we are careful to exchange with one another life stories and not simply opinions."
"People who attack others need rationalizations for doing so. We undermine those rationalizations."
"I think the only choice that will enable us to hold to our vision... is one that abandons the concept of naming enemies and adopts a concept familiar to the nonviolent tradition: naming behavior that is oppressive."
"Vengeance is not the point; change is. But the trouble is that in most people's minds the thought of victory and the thought of punishing the enemy coincide."
"Nonviolent action does not have to get others to be nice. It can in effect force them to consult their consciences."
"We believe, in fact, that the one act of respect has little force unless matched by the other - in balance with it... The acting out of that dual respect I would name as precisely the source of our power."
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