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"Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?"
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"Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people."
God
"Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."
Work
"Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down."
Politicians
"Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards."
Life
"In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh."
Humor
"If you can laugh together, you can work together."
Work
"Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet."
Wisdom
"Quit worrying about your health. It will go away."
Health
"Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get."
Health
"Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'"
God
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"I learned more about elections on election night 2000 than I ever did during my 16 years of schooling."
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Personal Development
"Do not seek to find a reason why elections are not possible. Seek to make them possible, and they will be possible."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I know that elections must be limited only to those who understand that the Arabs are the deadly enemy of the Jewish state, who would bring on us a slow Auschwitz - not with gas, but with knives and hatchets."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Our elections are free, it's in the results where eventually we pay."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The labour Party has lost the last four elections. If they lose another, they get to keep the liberal party."
Author Name
Personal Development
"In New York, we had primary elections for mayor. To improve their chances, all five candidates changed their name to Rudy Giuliani."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The candidate out front on Labor Day has historically been the one who stayed ahead in November."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I think the Democratic Party realizes, having lost two presidential elections, we need to do a better job of creating a farm team."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"I am planning to return and contest the October elections in Pakistan."
Author Name
Personal Development
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