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"Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?"
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"The Iraqi elections were an important first step."

"I am constitutionally competent to contest the elections."

"In New York, we had primary elections for mayor. To improve their chances, all five candidates changed their name to Rudy Giuliani."

"The candidate out front on Labor Day has historically been the one who stayed ahead in November."

"The labour Party has lost the last four elections. If they lose another, they get to keep the liberal party."

"Our elections are free, it's in the results where eventually we pay."
Explore more quotes by Robert Orben

"Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral."

"In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh."

"More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments."

"Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down."

"A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success."

"Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards."
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