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"When I'm on stage, it's a little world I've created where I'm sort of the thing, so I have total control over everything that happens. When we're improvising, I'm with someone I totally trust. I know things are going to work out. I don't have those guarantees in life. There are no consequences on stage."
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"I do enjoy working with Ryan although he owes me money."
Money
"Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises."
Famous
"I'm a traveling practical joker. That's my line of work."
Work
"I have many favorite artists... Van Gogh as one, but he didn't really sing a lot!"
Artist
"We all have a dinosaur deep within us just trying to get out."
Deep
"Well, it seems all the fish in the rivers are dying. Could this be an act of cod?"
Act
"Please call your second witness, and then call your mother, she worries."
Mother
"I think the challenge is going out in front of a paying audience with absolutely nothing and trying to entertain them for two hours. Thankfully, I only think about that right before we go on, and then once we're out there, everything's fine."
Challenge
"Give me liberty or give me a bran muffin!"
Liberty
"I am such a pessimist that every project has surpassed what I envisioned."
Project
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"That most limited of all specialists, the "well-rounded man"."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The world system is employment."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Police officers are poorly paid for a very stressful job that has them in very high powered radio frequency (RF) fields and in a daily environment that may result in them being assaulted, maimed or killed."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A butler supplies food to nourish your body, but a writer nourishes your mind through writing."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was cranked to a fifth gear, and everything I did, I did on a deadline."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Do not be weary to make money."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My favourite all-time work of fiction: Lord of the Rings. My favourite all-time nonfiction book: Guns, Germs, and Steel. Ask me again next week, you'll get a different answer."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Work was intended not to give a man a reason to live, but rather to give him a means to live."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Next to us is not the workman whom we have hired, with whom we love so well to talk, but the workman whose work we are."
Author Name
Personal Development
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