"The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got confused because of the weather and thought it was spring, so they accidentally changed the hot dog water in their carts."

Thought, Spring, Water, Weather

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"The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got confused because of the weather and thought it was spring, so they accidentally changed the hot dog water in their carts."

Exlpore more Thought quotes

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Michael Caine, English Actor

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"We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves."

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Explore more quotes by David Letterman

"We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since this guy has gotten laid in the private sector."

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People

"A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, France wants more evidence. And you know I'm thinking, the last time France wanted more evidence they rolled right through Paris with the German flag."

Time

"Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives."

Daughter

"Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?"

God

"Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees."

Change

"There is no off position on the genius switch."

Genius

"I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host."

Dance

"It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?"

Now

"I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments."

Ladies