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David Letterman

"The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got confused because of the weather and thought it was spring, so they accidentally changed the hot dog water in their carts."

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"The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got confused because of the weather and thought it was spring, so they accidentally changed the hot dog water in their carts."

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Akiroq Brost

"I was trying to take the band in a direction that I thought was appropriate, and Roth was trying to take the band in more of a Las Vegas direction. And there he is."

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"Was it only by dreaming or writing that I could find out what I thought?"

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"While I do not suggest that humanity will ever be able to dispense with its martyrs, I cannot avoid the suspicion that with a little more thought and a little less belief their number may be substantially reduced."

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"I thought people would ask me really personal questions because I've shown more of myself, but it's a comedy, and people understand that it's a game we play."

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"My opinion is that a poet should express the emotion of all the ages and the thought of his own."

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"All action results from thought, so it is thoughts that matter."

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Akiroq Brost

"The omnipotence of evil has never resulted in anything but fruitless efforts. Our thoughts always escape from whoever tries to smother them."

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Akiroq Brost

"Each "way of thinking" has its own shape and color, which wax and wane like the moon."

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"I thought I might say something to newsmen that could be turned into a scandal."

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"To fly as fast as thought, you must begin by knowing that you have already arrived."

Explore more quotes by David Letterman

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David Letterman
"Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?"
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David Letterman
"Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger."
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"President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger."
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"I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host."
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"I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious."
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"Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives."
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"Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel."
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"Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water."
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"We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets."
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David Letterman
"It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said."
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