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Patton Oswalt

"I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out if me with steel pipes."

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"I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out if me with steel pipes."

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Amber Hurdle

"The very essence of romance is uncertainty."

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"There was no romance about the mosquitos, however."

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"If I call him back here," Cooper whispered in her ear, "will you crawl up my body again?"

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"Beware the man who doesn't ask you any questions about yourself on your first date."

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"You will always be loved, and you will always be in love with love. A grande passion is the privilege of people who have nothing to do."

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"Romance is everything."

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"Consider what a romantic expedition you are on; take notes."

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Amber Hurdle

"The telephone, which interrupts the most serious conversations and cuts short the most weighty observations, has a romance of its own."

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Amber Hurdle

"I left her in the forest of Arden, I shall find her in an orchard in Verona."

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Amber Hurdle

"While we look to the dramatist to give romance to realism, we ask of the actor to give realism to romance."

Explore more quotes by Patton Oswalt

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Patton Oswalt
"I think right now is the best time for stand-up, ever. I sincerely do."
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Patton Oswalt
"I hate all sidekicks."
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Patton Oswalt
"I have some shorter stories coming out in other books early next year. I might be pitching a re-vamp of Ghost Rider in the spring. We'll see."
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Patton Oswalt
"I think I realized it was an art form at the beginning, but it took me a really long time before I was able to view what I was performing myself as an art form."
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Patton Oswalt
"Yeah, there were a few years in the early nineties where I really began to hate what was valued as funny and just sort of what was valued in stand-up, period."
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Patton Oswalt
"I mean, the death in the late eighties and early nineties really shook out a lot of hacks. The pond just sort of dried up for a lot of really bad comedians."
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Patton Oswalt
"If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins."
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Patton Oswalt
"It's like our country is being run by a bunch of bad alcoholic dads right now."
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Patton Oswalt
"I mean, all alternative comedy is are comedians that have being doing it for so long, for so long, that they were relaxed enough to start becoming personal on stage."
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Patton Oswalt
"George Bush is not stupid. He's evil. OK? There's a huge difference between stupid and evil."
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