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"Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out."
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"My kitchen is not a place to live in. I made it white so I can tell instantly if it's not clean-and I like it clean enough to be able to eat off the floors-or the tables, for that matter."

"I am spoiled, it's true. I don't even know how to use that thing in the kitchen with the burners."

"I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'"

"The best thing I have is the knife from Fatal Attraction. I hung it in my kitchen. It's my way of saying, Don't mess with me."

"I'm good in the kitchen. I can cook seafood, collard greens, black-eyed peas."

"The house is in turmoil with records on every space. In the kitchen and in the dining room is covered with records. I don't have a big enough house to accommodate everything."

"I'm in a loft and the kitchen is in the very center of the apartment. The whole place revolves around it."
Explore more quotes by Phyllis Diller

"Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going."

"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."

"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them."
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