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Phyllis Diller

"Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out."

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"Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out."

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Amber Hurdle

"The best thing I have is the knife from Fatal Attraction. I hung it in my kitchen. It's my way of saying, Don't mess with me."

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Amber Hurdle

"What's a soup kitchen?"

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Amber Hurdle

"I'm good in the kitchen. I can cook seafood, collard greens, black-eyed peas."

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Amber Hurdle

"I have been in Sorrow's kitchen and licked out all the pots. Then I have stood on the peaky mountain wrapped in rainbows, with a harp and sword in my hands."

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Amber Hurdle

"The kitchen may not get cleaned, and I have to accept that. I do the important things."

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Amber Hurdle

"My kitchen is not a place to live in. I made it white so I can tell instantly if it's not clean-and I like it clean enough to be able to eat off the floors-or the tables, for that matter."

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Amber Hurdle

"The house is in turmoil with records on every space. In the kitchen and in the dining room is covered with records. I don't have a big enough house to accommodate everything."

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Amber Hurdle

"The most important thing in the kitchen is the waste paper basket and it needs to be centrally located."

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Amber Hurdle

"I've never cooked. I can't do much more in the kitchen than make a cup of tea and some toast."

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Amber Hurdle

"I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'"

Explore more quotes by Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
"What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day."
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Phyllis Diller
"Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves."
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Phyllis Diller
"The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public."
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Phyllis Diller
"My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me."
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Phyllis Diller
"I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?"
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Phyllis Diller
"If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like."
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Phyllis Diller
"It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core."
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Phyllis Diller
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
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Phyllis Diller
"The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing."
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Phyllis Diller
"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them."
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