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"I can't find my car keys in the morning. Trying to get out of my house is a nightmare. "Where's my wallet? Where are my keys? I have to go find a missing person.""
Author Name
Personal Development
"I prefer to sing in the shower vs. the car. The shower is just steam, you know, its just you, and nature, and no clothing. You know, there's nothing separating you. It's just you, and the voice - you, and the water."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I am an artist. The track is my canvas, and the car is my brush."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Twenty years ago, I was living in a lovely cottage on the edge of Dartmoor but I couldn't afford to run a car."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You know, it's amazing. I don't even have a car, would you believe it? I had a motorbike and it got stolen last year. So I've got to buy another one of those, I suppose. I can treat myself to that."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Every little kid has always wanted to be a race car driver. This gets some of that out."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Campaign behavior for wives: Always be on time. Do as little talking as humanly possible. Lean back in the parade car so everybody can see the president."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Luck, like a Russian car, generally only works if you push it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Storing your car in New York is safer than entering it in a demolition derby. But not much."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I remember things that happened sixty years ago, but if you ask me where I left my car keys five minutes ago, that's sometimes a problem."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself."
Love
"Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother, Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin."
Father
"You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox."
Fact
"So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'"
Building
"So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'"
Home
"People ask 'do you make a conscious effort not to swear?' - if you're doing silly stuff you're not tempted to put swearing in. All the comics from my childhood, who were funny without swearing, were the people that influenced me. What I do is quite traditional anyway."
Funny
"My house is a bit like a teenager's bedroom. The kind of pictures you have hanging up on your wall say a lot about you. I've got ones of Evel Knievel, Elvis and Starsky and Hutch, signed by David Soul."
Soul
"I was at sea the other day and loads of meat floated past. It was a bit choppy."
Day
"Black beauty - he's a dark horse."
Beauty
"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."
Driving
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