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"Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted."
Man,
Standard
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"I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back."
College
"The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference."
Advertising
"We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion."
History
"Television is a medium because anything well done is rare."
Television
"Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great."
Actor
"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."
People
"A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better."
Press
"Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent."
Talent
"Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done."
Men
"Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure."
Failure
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"No men are oftener wrong than those that can least bear to be so."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Literature is strewn with the wreckage of men who have minded beyond reason the opinions of others."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Many men are contemptuous of riches; few can give them away."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Genius: the superhuman in man."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Men exist for the sake of one another."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One man's ways may be as good as another's, but we all like our own best."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I will praise any man that will praise me."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When men come to like a sea-life, they are not fit to live on land."
Author Name
Personal Development
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