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"The country has become much more conservative, partly because it's been taken over by the religious right."
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"But I came from a conservative Republican background."
"Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others."
"The healthy stomach is nothing if it is not conservative. Few radicals have good digestions."
"A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now."
"I'm a very straight-laced, conservative news kind of guy."
"It's my view that any conservative who loves his country has to be extremely concerned."
"A liberal is a person who believes that water can be made to run uphill. A conservative is someone who believes everybody should pay for his water. I'm somewhere in between: I believe water should be free, but that water flows downhill."
"White collar conservative flashin down the street, pointing that plastic finger at me, they all assume my kind will drop and die, but I'm gonna wave my freak flag high."
"Conservative talk radio works because there are lots of conservatives who are convinced that they are not getting the whole story from the regular media."
Explore more quotes by Bill Maher
"I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder."
"Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the "will of the people" goes out the window."
"To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's the person who tells you the truth. That's who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that."
"They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed."
"Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?"
"The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'"
"Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids."
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