"Politics has got so expensive that it takes lots of money to even get beat with."

Satire, Politics, Money, Irony, Corruption

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"Politics has got so expensive that it takes lots of money to even get beat with."

Exlpore more Satire quotes

"Most politicians lie for the same reason a monkey swings by his tail, which is to say because he can."

Stephen King, American Author

Satire, Politics, Truth, Wisdom, Power

"Or he'd watch the news: more plagues, more famines, more floods, more insect or microbe or small-mammal outbreaks, more droughts, more chickenshit boy-soldier wars in distant countries. Why was everything so much like itself?"

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

Satire, News, Despair, Disaster, War

"New York is a sucked orange."

Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Poet

Satire, City, Metaphor

"Fella says today, 'Depression is over. I seen a jackrabbit, an' they wasn't nobody after him.' An' another fella says, 'That aint the reason. Can't afford to kill jackrabbits no more. Catch 'em and milk 'em an' turn 'em loose. One you seen prob'ly gone dry."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Satire, Depression, Poverty, Humor, Survival

"On the Kite, the situation was being 'workshopped'. This is the means by which people who don't know anything get together to pool their ignorance."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Satire, Ignorance, Truth, Idea, Action

"Scandal is gossip made tedious by morality."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Satire, Scandal, Gossip, Morality, Truth

"I'm joking when I say I'm the grand-pop of those claiming to be an avatar-messiah or god. But if they're serious, then, I am who I am."

Fakeer Ishavardas, Indian Spiritual Leader

Satire, Humor, Ego, Truth, Delusion

"He wondered reflectively what would happen if you asked a nun where the Gents was. Probably the Pope sent you a sharp note or something."

Neil Gaiman, British Author

Satire, Humor, Religion, Authority

"The whole theory of modern education is radically unsound. Fortunately in England, at any rate, education produces no effect whatsoever. If it did, it would prove a serious danger to the upper classes, and probably lead to acts of violence in Grosvenor Square."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Satire, Education, Truth, Danger, Effect

"Nobody's perfect. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him...."

Christopher Moore, American Novelist

Satire, Humor, Truth, Cynicism, Sarcasm

Explore more quotes by Will Rogers

"Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far."

Sound

"Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week."

War

"If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing."

Love

"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."

Day

"Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction."

Action

"I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times."

Day

"One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide."

People

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Exlpore more Satire quotes

"Most politicians lie for the same reason a monkey swings by his tail, which is to say because he can."

"Or he'd watch the news: more plagues, more famines, more floods, more insect or microbe or small-mammal outbreaks, more droughts, more chickenshit boy-soldier wars in distant countries. Why was everything so much like itself?"

"New York is a sucked orange."

"Fella says today, 'Depression is over. I seen a jackrabbit, an' they wasn't nobody after him.' An' another fella says, 'That aint the reason. Can't afford to kill jackrabbits no more. Catch 'em and milk 'em an' turn 'em loose. One you seen prob'ly gone dry."

"On the Kite, the situation was being 'workshopped'. This is the means by which people who don't know anything get together to pool their ignorance."

"Scandal is gossip made tedious by morality."

"I'm joking when I say I'm the grand-pop of those claiming to be an avatar-messiah or god. But if they're serious, then, I am who I am."

"He wondered reflectively what would happen if you asked a nun where the Gents was. Probably the Pope sent you a sharp note or something."

"The whole theory of modern education is radically unsound. Fortunately in England, at any rate, education produces no effect whatsoever. If it did, it would prove a serious danger to the upper classes, and probably lead to acts of violence in Grosvenor Square."

"Nobody's perfect. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him...."

Explore more quotes by Will Rogers

"Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far."

"Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week."

"If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing."

"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."

"Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction."

"I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times."

"One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide."

"It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts."

"Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious."

"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."