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"For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe. Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end."
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"When a sinister person means to be your enemy, they always start by trying to become your friend."

"The final test for a novel will be our affection for it, as it is the test of our friends, and of anything else which we cannot define."

"Friendship ... is born at the moment when one man says to another "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . ."

"The only service a friend can really render is to keep up your courage by holding up to you a mirror in which you can see a noble image of yourself."

"To me, re-reading my favorite books is like spending time with my best friends.I'd never be satisfied to limit myself to just one experience each with my favorite people."

"This was what I liked most about my friends: just sitting around and telling stories. Window stories and mirror stories. I only listened - the stories on my mind weren't that funny."

"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."

"That's who you really like. The people you can think out loud in front of."

"While conscience is our friend, all is at peace; however once it is offended, farewell to a tranquil mind."

"Friends we shall never be, you know that yourself. Whether we shall be the happiest or the wretchedest of people--that's in your hands."
Explore more quotes by H. L. Mencken

"Indeed it may be said with some confidence that the average man never really thinks from end to end of his life. There are moments when his cogitations are relatively more respectable than usual, but even at their climaxes they never reach anything properly describable as the level of serious thought. The mental activity of such people is only a mouthing of clichés. What they mistake for thought is simply a repetition of what they have heard. My guess is that well over eighty per cent. of the human race goes through life without having a single original thought. That is to say, they never think anything that has not been thought before and by thousands."

"Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats."

"No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not."

"Explanations exist; they have existed for all time; there is always a well-known solution to every human problem-neat, plausible, and wrong."

"The plain fact is that education is itself a form of propaganda - a deliberate scheme to outfit the pupil, not with the capacity to weigh ideas, but with a simple appetite for gulping ideas ready-made. The aim is to make 'good' citizens, which is to say, docile and uninquisitive citizens."
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