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"If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you more open to my ideas. And if I can persuade you to laugh at the particular point I make, by laughing at it you acknowledge its truth."
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"I will make a bargain with the Republicans. If they will stop telling lies about Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them."
"It is better to be running after the truth and principles of God than to be running after miracles."
"There is no need to upset about the fact that our ancestors were monkeys, because they are capable chaps! Don't be sad about the truth, just understand the truth!"
"I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours."
"When you live by understanding, you will not live in deception."
"See? my mother would say, smiling at me and my sister, Carol, in turn. "We live in the greatest country on earth. See how lucky we are?And yet the ash continued swirling down, and the smells of death came through the windows, crept under the door, hung in our carpets and curtains, and screamed of her lie.Is it possible to tell the truth in a society of lies? Or must you always, of necessity, become a liar?And if you lie to a liar, is the sin somehow negated or reversed?These are the kinds of questions I ask myself now: in these dark, watery hours, when night and day are interchangeable. No. Not true."
"You have a responsibility to keep your homes, surroundings and city clean."
Explore more quotes by John Cleese
"The really good idea is always traceable back quite a long way, often to a not very good idea which sparked off another idea that was only slightly better, which somebody else misunderstood in such a way that they then said something which was really rather interesting."
"I used to desire many, many things, but now I have just one desire, and that's to get rid of all my other desires."
"I was very sad to hear of the death of Ronnie Barker, who was such a warm, friendly and encouraging presence to have when I started in television. He was also a great comic actor to learn from."
"For me, the great problem growing up in England was that I had a very narrow concept of what God can be, and it was damn close to an old man with a beard."
"God was treated like this powerful, erratic, rather punitive father who has to be pacified and praised. You know, flattered."
"I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me."
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