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"A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too."
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"People keep telling me that I'm a legend in Merthyr and a legend in many other places. Here's my understanding on that, what's a legend? I don't really know what a legend is, I don't even know the word. I'm not a King Arthur reincarnate either. I might be one of the Round Table, but I'm not King Arthur."
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Personal Development
"Being rich or famous is the only profound thing that some people have ever said."
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Personal Development
"Most sane human beings who have managed to attain and retain fame each uses it to dramatically increase their name's chances of being remembered until Jesus comes back, since their heart cannot do what they consciously or unconsciously lust for, that is to say, for it to beat until Jesus returns."
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Personal Development
"Though you can get smart from reading everything that a smart person writes, you cannot get famous from reading about everything that a famous person does or is said to have done."
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Personal Development
"A model's opinion seldom matters. The only time that he is required to open his mouth is when he is required to smile at the camera."
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Personal Development
"Fame is the inheritance not of the dead, but of the living. It is we who look back with lofty pride to the great names of antiquity."
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Personal Development
"Back then: to be regarded as well-known, one had to be great. Today: to be regarded as great, one has to be well-known."
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Personal Development
"I don't think about being famous, really. Being an author, I don't generally get stopped as I walk down the street. It's not like being a movie star."
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Personal Development
"Fame often makes a writer vain, but seldom makes him proud."
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Personal Development
"A celebrity starts being a cele-crazy when he's seen often, he's just like the ordinary man in the streets. Without much ado to shout his name, i go my way."
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"You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going."
Children
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible."
Woman
"Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective."
Death
"Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly."
Discipline
"Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy."
Government
"Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them."
People
"You may be surprised to discover you're rich, especially if you're broke."
May
"The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person."
Nothing
"Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy."
Politics
"The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it."
Government
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