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"To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's the person who tells you the truth. That's who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that."
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"What then in the last resort are the truths of mankind? They are the irrefutable errors of mankind."
"Integrity means that we are trustworthy and dependable, and our character is above reproach."
"Telling lies is a really terrible thing. These days, lies and silence are the two greatest sins in human society you might say. In reality, we tell lots of lies, and we often break into silence. However, if we were constant;y talking year-round, and telling only the truth truth would probably lose some of its value."
"Both my parents had a great influence on me. I never heard my father use a profane or even a slang word. I always respected him because of his complete integrity. In his business dealings his handshake was like a contract. He was as good as his word. Of all the people I have ever known, my mother had the greatest influence on me."
"The truth sticks in our throats with all the sauces it is served with: it will never go down until we take it without any sauce at all."
Explore more quotes by Bill Maher
"A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. Because a lot of kids wouldn't even be born if it weren't for that album, so it evens out."
"The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it."
"What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country."
"I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?"
"New Rule: Americans have to come up with a better cheese to represent the nation than American cheese. I'm not even sure American cheese is cheese. I think it's aged Jell-O. And it doesn't need to be individually wrapped in plastic, either. You're thinking of condoms."
"Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?"
"If it weren't for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod."
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