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"I had always thought that once you grew up you could do anything you wanted - stay up all night or eat ice-cream straight out of the container."
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"It's so weird that I went to rehab. I always said that I would die before I went to rehab. But I thought, 'I'm going to stay here tonight.' And I stayed there for a month. It was great."

"I thought of such Christian inventions as the ghetto and the Jewish badge of shame. The Nazis didn't have to go very far to pick up their know-how."

"True thoughts are those alone which do not understand themselves."

"A lot of our tracks have sounded a lot better than I thought they would because of recording, mixing, and because I probably didn't hear it that way. I'm not a songwriter."

"Most of the people who get off at our exit get off by mistake. They thought it was Exit 57."
Explore more quotes by Bill Bryson

"There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age."

"Boston's freeway system is insane. It was clearly designed by a person who had spent his childhood crashing toy trains."

"The remarkable position in which we find ourselves is that we don't actually know what we actually know."

"More than 300 million people in the world speak English and the rest, it sometimes seems, try to."

"I have long known that it is part of God's plan for me to spend a little time with each of the most stupid people on earth."

"I don't plan to write another science book, but I don't plan not to. I do enjoy writing histories, and taking subjects that are generally dull and trying to make them interesting."

"When you tell an Iowan a joke, you can see a kind of race going on between his brain and his expression."

"The whole of the global economy is based on supplying the cravings of two per cent of the world's population."

"There are things you just can't do in life. You can't beat the phone company, you can't make a waiter see you until he's ready to see you, and you can't go home again."
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