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Phyllis Diller

"Our dog died from licking our wedding picture."

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"Our dog died from licking our wedding picture."

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Phyllis Diller
"Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children."

Work

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Phyllis Diller
"My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual."

Anger

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Phyllis Diller
"A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once."

Mistake

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Phyllis Diller
"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."

Bed

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Phyllis Diller
"My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me."

Justice

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Phyllis Diller
"You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type."

Blood

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Phyllis Diller
"If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like."

Baseball

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Phyllis Diller
"The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing."

Reason

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Phyllis Diller
"The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you."

Reason

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Phyllis Diller
"You know you're old if your walker has an airbag."

Old

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Aberjhani

"I want the big drama. I always said I don't want a wedding I want a parade."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"Monica Seles: I'd hate to be next door to her on her wedding night."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"I sang a song at my sister's wedding. My mother forced me into that, too. But that one felt all right."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"You may invite the entire 35th Division to your wedding if you want to. I guess it's going to be yours as well as mine. We might as well have the church full while we are at it."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"When Andrew went with the girls, we were talking all morning and he was saying, 'It's okay. Just remember we had such a good day. Our wedding was so perfect.' Because we're such a unit together. He made me feel very part of the day on April the 29th."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"I really did put up all my wedding pictures on my website. And I swear to you, my wedding pictures got downloaded just as much as my bikini pictures."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"Well... Actually I got picked because I was the only one who fit the wedding gown - they had my size."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"I was a bridesmaid at a wedding in one picture."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"My husband, Jim, converted to Judaism just before our wedding."

Author Name

Personal Development

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