"Our dog died from licking our wedding picture."

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"Our dog died from licking our wedding picture."

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"Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children."

Work, Advice, Children

"My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual."

Anger, Business, Kitchen, Sound

"If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like."

Baseball, Kids

"The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing."

Reason,

"The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you."

Reason,

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"My grandfather Frank Lloyd Wright wore a red sash on his wedding night. That is glamour!"

Anne Baxter, American Actress

Wedding, Night

"I want the big drama. I always said I don't want a wedding I want a parade."

Star Jones, American Entertainer

Wedding, Drama, Want

"No wedding bells for me anymore. I've been happily married to my profession for years."

Shirley Bassey, Welsh Musician

Wedding, Bells, Profession, Years

"Monica Seles: I'd hate to be next door to her on her wedding night."

Peter Ustinov, English Actor

Wedding, Hate, Night

"Our dog died from licking our wedding picture."

Phyllis Diller, American Comedian

Wedding,

"I sang a song at my sister's wedding. My mother forced me into that, too. But that one felt all right."

Adam Sandler, American Actor

Wedding, Mother, Sister, Right

"A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers."

Grace Hansen, American Author

Wedding, Flowers

"You may invite the entire 35th Division to your wedding if you want to. I guess it's going to be yours as well as mine. We might as well have the church full while we are at it."

Bess Truman, American First Lady

Wedding, Church, May, Want

"When Andrew went with the girls, we were talking all morning and he was saying, 'It's okay. Just remember we had such a good day. Our wedding was so perfect.' Because we're such a unit together. He made me feel very part of the day on April the 29th."

Sarah Ferguson, British Duchess

Wedding, April, Day, Girls

"I really did put up all my wedding pictures on my website. And I swear to you, my wedding pictures got downloaded just as much as my bikini pictures."

Cindy Margolis, American Model

Wedding,

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Explore more quotes by Phyllis Diller

"Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children."

"My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual."

"A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once."

"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."

"My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me."

"Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves."

"You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type."

"If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like."

"The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing."

"The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you."

Exlpore more Wedding quotes

"My grandfather Frank Lloyd Wright wore a red sash on his wedding night. That is glamour!"

"I want the big drama. I always said I don't want a wedding I want a parade."

"No wedding bells for me anymore. I've been happily married to my profession for years."

"Monica Seles: I'd hate to be next door to her on her wedding night."

"Our dog died from licking our wedding picture."

"I sang a song at my sister's wedding. My mother forced me into that, too. But that one felt all right."

"A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers."

"You may invite the entire 35th Division to your wedding if you want to. I guess it's going to be yours as well as mine. We might as well have the church full while we are at it."

"When Andrew went with the girls, we were talking all morning and he was saying, 'It's okay. Just remember we had such a good day. Our wedding was so perfect.' Because we're such a unit together. He made me feel very part of the day on April the 29th."

"I really did put up all my wedding pictures on my website. And I swear to you, my wedding pictures got downloaded just as much as my bikini pictures."