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"Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples."
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"I do not support a constitutional amendment to prohibit gay marriage."
"If your wife locks you out of the house, you don't have a problem with your door."
"Marriage is like a well - built porch. If one of the two posts leans too much, the porch collapses. So each must be strong enough to stand on its own."
"I invented the psychological histories and the relationship between Jack and Susan Stanton. I didn't know anything about the Clintons. I don't know more about the Clintons' marriage than you do."
"Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient."
"I have married thriteen couples. I'm about to do a marriage next month."
"There were times after my marriage ended where, you know, I really felt like I was at the bottom of a mountain, there was a great big, fog up there, and I'm never going to cross to the other side."
"Maybe the difference between first marriage and second marriage is that the second time at least you know you are gambling."
Explore more quotes by Neil Simon
"I love living. I have some problems with my life, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far."
"You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were too low to get them into schools the regular way. As a matter of fact, it was my SAT scores that led me into my present vocation in life, comedy."
"Sports is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you never know the ending."
"Everyone thinks they can write a play; you just write down what happened to you. But the art of it is drawing from all the moments of your life."
"Nathan Lane always wanted to play Oscar. When he came in the first day, he already knew his lines. He said he'd known them since he was 18."
"Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples."
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