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"Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples."
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"For in marriage a little licence, a little independence there mustbe between people living together day in day out in the same house; which Richard gave her, and shehim."
"I'm certain that most couples expect to find intimacy in marriage, but it somehow eludes them."
"Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two."
"I also remembered Buddy Willard saying in a sinister, knowing way that after Ihad children I would feel differently, I wouldn't want to write poems any more. So I began to think maybe it was true that when you were married and had children it was like being brainwashed, and afterward you went about numb as a slave in some private, totalitarian state."
"When a man has seen the woman whom he would have chosen if he had intended to marry speedily, his remaining a bachelor will usually depend on her resolution rather than on his."
"Before marriage a man prays that she accepts, after marriage a woman prays that he accepts."
"After a long time in laboratories, psychologists have discovered the holy grail of a happy marriage: I applied it and it didn't work."
Explore more quotes by Neil Simon
"Nathan Lane always wanted to play Oscar. When he came in the first day, he already knew his lines. He said he'd known them since he was 18."
"Everyone thinks they can write a play; you just write down what happened to you. But the art of it is drawing from all the moments of your life."
"I love living. I have some problems with my life, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far."
"You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were too low to get them into schools the regular way. As a matter of fact, it was my SAT scores that led me into my present vocation in life, comedy."
"Sports is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you never know the ending."
"Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples."
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